Fulfillment

I find myself asking this question a lot, “Am I good enough?”.

Measuring myself through beauty standards, grades, career achievements, and physique – I fall short of these societal norms. My mind performs a balancing act where success and failure are constantly trying to outweigh one another and failure is more-often-than-not the victor. Failure has always had a “bad rep” in my books, but without experiencing some degree of failure, we wouldn’t be able to appreciate the idea of success. There’s nothing more fulfilling than being able to perceive failures as challenges and to find ways to jump over those hurdles (albeit way easier said than done). Mastering this kind of mindset requires practice and defining your objectives. So maybe instead of asking if I’m good enough, I should be asking, “What more can I do?“.

My two new year’s resolutions are complementary – to be more confident and to dream big. With low confidence, it’s easy to settle for mediocrity. 2018 was a year full of insecurities, with an overwhelming feeling of inadequacy. Upon reflection I realized that fulfillment shouldn’t be measured by academic, career, or social achievements, but more so on goal attainment. I was inundated by grades, job postings, and social events – to the point where I lost sight of my own objectives. Without stepping back to reflect, it becomes really easy to exacerbate the feeling of failure. I also want to remind myself to dream big. If there’s something that I can’t currently attain right now due to lack of skills or experience – this doesn’t mean that it’s impossible. It simply means that maybe it’s time to pivot and to do something about it.

This year I see fulfillment in a different light. Fulfillment is spending some Friday nights in bed watching Terrace House instead of going out to the bar. Fulfillment is going to a networking event and walking out learning something new about myself and my interests. Fulfillment is crossing an item off my crazy to-do list.

This piece is more of a note to self to keep myself accountable. Thank you for taking the time to read a little piece of my mind. I can’t wait to see what the new year will bring – hello 2019!

Love,

Emily Yau

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